Don't Step On The Welcome Mat
by Aya-dono
Summary: AUSasuNaru Naruto is a new patient at Konoha Youth Hospital for the Mentally Ill. Forced to deal with odd characters, from the narcissist in love with him to the two sociopaths intent on corrupting him, his only hope for a way out lies in saving them all.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: You know, I can totally see my HP fanfic-readers massacring me for daring to start another fanfic….but alas, it couldn't be helped. (grin)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto nor any other merchandise mentioned in this fic.

Warnings: YAOI, SHOUNEN-AI, whichever you want to call it. Some smut later on, but nothing too dirty or graphic. Suggested noncon, and of course, mental illness.

Pairings: SasuNaru, GaaLee, KakaIru, ZabuHaku…more later on. A little NejiNaru and SaiNaru as well.

BEGINTHESTORY

"I hate you!! I Hate you hate you hate you hate you!!! LEMME GO, I HATE YOU!!!" a small blond screamed at the top of his lungs, as an older man dragged him forcefully into the building, holding a duffel bag in his free hand. The sturdy adult didn't appear to be listening to the screaming teen, though he did look decidedly unhappy. The young man he was pulling along was a short teen, no older than 16, with spiky blond hair and expressive blue eyes currently narrowed in fury. Three whiskers marks scarred each cheek, the most distinguishing thing about his appearance.

As soon as the older man pulled the boy into the off-white reception room, he was met by another man, this one looking much friendlier. He was no older than 25, with a nice tan, brown hair and eyes, and a scar running across his face. "Uzumaki Arashi-san?" he inquired, though he appeared to already know the answer, as his eyes strayed to the now-quiet but still-struggling teen.

Arashi nodded sharply to the man's inquiry, and the orderly put a small smile on his face. "My name is Umino Iruka, Uzumaki-san. And this," here, Iruka turned to look at Naruto, "must be Naruto-kun." Naruto glared back at him, distrust shining in his blue eyes. "It's nice to meet you, Naruto-kun." Iruka continued. Naruto just stared at him in suspicion, but he had at least stopped struggling at being addressed.

Arashi slowly let go of Naruto's arm, focusing his attention on Iruka, who motioned down a hallway to the left. "Tsunade-sensei is in her office; it's the third door on the left." he said cheerfully. Arashi nodded and walked away, after handing Iruka the duffel bag.

Iruka smiled warmly at the unsure boy. "Come on, Naruto-kun. Let's go find your room." he said cheerfully. Naruto blinked, before a small smile appeared on his face. "Alright, Iruka-sensei!" the teen replied just as happily, trailing after the man, as two other orderlies followed behind them.

The hallway was as off-white as the reception area at first, before it gradually changed into a hall of art that looked to be done by young children. Naruto glanced around in interest; some of the drawings were pretty good, but most of them looked to be doodles.

Turning down another corridor, this turned out to be less decorative, but it did have door upon door of what Naruto assumed to be rooms. Each of the doors were marked with numbers, with a little slot for others to look inside if necessary, but other than the peeling dark green paint on the doors, it didn't look very remarkable. Iruka stopped in front of a room marked 205, knocking lightly before opening the door.

"Lee-kun." Iruka called out in greeting.

"Iruka-sensei! Your visit was most unexpected, but not to worry! I have completed my duties!" came the exuberant reply. Iruka just had an amused smile on his face as he walked in, placing the blond's duffel bag on the empty cot opposite of Lee's. Naruto walked in soon after, glancing around the room anxiously.

The room was also nothing spectacular, though the one dresser in the room, which was separating the two cots, did have rubber-smoothed edges. The cots had stark white sheets, and the floor was merely a linoleum-like tile. There was only one window in the room, though it looked sealed shut and let in the sunlight and sky, but not much scenery.

"What is this? Iruka-sensei, have Gama and I earned ourselves a roommate?" the other teen asked excitedly, dark eyes alighting upon the sight of the blond boy. Naruto stared at him. Lee had the thickest eyebrows he had ever seen on ANY human being ever before...and even Naruto could tell his eyes were just naturally wide, not wide from his otherwise obvious thrill. He had a tacky bowl-cut to top it all off, and the green onesie he was wearing did nothing to add to Naruto's comfort with the strange boy.

"Lee-kun, this is Uzumaki Naruto-kun. And yes, he will be rooming with you. Naruto-kun, this is Rock Lee-kun, your new roommate." Iruka said, giving both boys equally fond smiles. Naruto was still staring at Lee, who was staring back at Naruto. "Naruto-kun, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me anything. Lee will be happy to show you around and answer questions as well, right, Lee?" Iruka finished, looking to the other boy. Lee nodded vigorously, jumping up and striking what Naruto could only term to be a good-guy pose.

"Of course, Iruka-sensei! I will not fail this wonderful duty you have given to me! Gama will surely aid me in this task as well!" Lee cried, before turning to Naruto. "Naruto-san, if you need anything at all, do not fail to call on myself or Gama! I will be your shoulder to cry on, your ear to talk to, your nose to smell your unclean shoes, your--" Lee could have probably went on for hours, Naruto would have bet, but fortunately, Iruka interjected a complacent "Thank you, Lee.", before turning to Naruto.

"My office is in the dinosaur hallway, Naruto-kun. The door with Godzilla on it." Iruka said, before bowing slightly, and with a light goodbye, left the two to themselves. Naruto glanced around the room again, blue eyes lingering on Lee who was still wishing an already-gone Iruka a teary farewell, before moving over to his bag and opening it. The sound of the zipper must have been audible enough to catch Lee's interest, as the teen ended his goodbyes and turned back to Naruto.

"Naruto-kun! WAIT!!!" Lee practically screamed, startling Naruto enough to cause him to jump, as the green-clad teen rushed to the dresser, yanking open the top three of the six drawers and pulling out several articles of clothing among other riff-raff. When they were empty, Lee shoved all of his belongings to his side of the room, leaving the three drawers open and giving Naruto a flashing grin.

"Naruto-kun, you may have the top three drawers, in honor of your arrival at this glorious facility of YOUTH and VITALITY." he declared. Naruto stared at him, not quite sure what he was talking about. "Ummm...what?" Naruto asked, slightly dazed with all of the..._energy _Lee seemed to contain within his skinny form.

"This will be a symbol of our growing friendship, Naruto-kun!" Lee continued earnestly, looking at Naruto with big, bright eyes. Naruto just nodded unsurely, before pulling out his belongings and cramming them into the drawers. Once he had finished--his father hadn't packed very much for him--he closed the drawers and sat on his cot, scowling slightly at the toughness of the springs in the mattress.

Lee, seeing Naruto finished, opened the bottom two drawers and put his own belongings into them--though much more neatly than Naruto had done. Once finished with his task, he gave Naruto another flashing grin, before opening the last empty drawer with a fond smile. "That Gama! If I didn't put away his things, he'd never be able to find them!" he chuckled.

"Ah, Naruto-kun has not yet been introduced to Gama!" Lee exclaimed in dismay. That expression was swiftly replaced by another blinding smile before the teen motioned to his left. "Naruto-kun, this is Gama-san. Gama, this is Uzumaki Naruto-kun." Lee introduced with pride. Naruto glanced around, just to make sure that: yes, they were the only two in the room. So who was Lee talking about?

"Naruto-kun, Gama said 'hello'." Lee said, eyes narrowing in dissatisfaction and slight indignance. The blond blinked, but did a small boy nonetheless with an uneasy-and-confused grin plastered on his face. "Nice to meetcha." Naruto replied (though not really knowing who he was actually replying to). Lee's attitude went back to its usually happy self, and he looked very content with the entire proceeding.

"Come on, its time for the youth to feast upon the delectable morsels set before us!" Lee proclaimed cheerfully, walking out of the room, followed by a less-than-enthusiastic Naruto.

Along the way to the cafeteria, Lee helpfully pointed out to the blond teen which hallway lead to where, and the few restricted sections around. The commons, according to Lee, was a popular place to inhabit for a bit (at least, that's what Naruto had filtered through all of the 'youth' and 'springtime' gibberish); and also, there were apparently some art classes around the place, though Naruto didn't really catch where.

The pair, plus 'Gama', reached the cafeteria, with Lee strolling in and directly towards the line, Naruto following closely after him. Going through the line-up was long, though, and when it was finally their turn, Naruto didn't even think the goop was worth it; Lee told him it was 'healthy oatmeal so that the youth may flourish in a more positive environment, inside and out!' or something of that nature.

Turning to glance around, as Lee was currently arguing with one of the servers about giving 'Gama' some food, Naruto realized that Konoha Hospital for Youth Treatment was, in fact, co-ed. There were groups of both boys AND girls.

A particular group of girls, three to be exact, caught his eyes--likely because one of the females had bubblegum pink hair. Said female was engaged in conversation with the blond girl across from her, who was smirking sensually and letting her blue eyes run over the few nearest groups of boys suggestively. Next to the blond sat another girl, her dark brown hair done up in Chinese-style buns. She looked to be muttering under her breath as she constantly rearranged the dishes on her meal tray, never once even touching the food. With them sat an orderly with wild black hair and dark red lipstick, keeping a watchful eye on the blond.

Eyes drifting around, Naruto was startled when a pair of black eyes suddenly lifted to meet his own. Naruto felt his breath begin to hitch just at the sheer intensity of the gaze. The owner, another teenaged boy with spiky black hair and pale skin, sat at a table with only a silver-haired orderly for company. Said orderly had his nose buried into a bright orange book, with, for reasons likely only known to himself and God, one eye covered with a black handkerchief.

The raven-haired boy kept his eyes staring straight into Naruto's, and slowly, a smirk etched its way onto his otherwise expressionless face; it was a smug smirk, as if he knew something the blond didn't and would use it to make Naruto _miserable_. It made Naruto's hackles rise in apprehension, and his discomfort shown in the scowl on his face. At the sight, the other teen only smirked wider.

As if sensing his charge's mocking interest, the silver-haired orderly lifted his head to glance at the teen, and following his gaze to Naruto, shut his book and began to speak to the raven-haired teen. Being too far away to hear them and not able to read lips, Naruto could only guess that what the silver-haired man was saying was not something the other boy liked, as a scowl started replacing his smirk. Soon the teen was glaring daggers at the man, but the man just looked bored and spoke again before motioning to the door. The darker teen stood with his glare in place, before turning back to Naruto's interested gaze with a vivid and creepy smirk.

"Naruto-kun!" Lee yelled--directly in the blond's ear.

After jumping nearly a foot in the air, Naruto turned to glare at his roommate. "What the hell, Lee?!" Naruto growled, one hand over his ringing ear. Lee just grinned at him, glad he had his wonderful new roommate's attention. "To the table!" he proclaimed, trotting off, with a grumbling Naruto in tow. The blond looked back over at the spot where the other teen and orderly had been, but they were long gone.

The two made their way to a table near one of the bigger--but still high up on the wall--windows. A group of five boys sat there eating, though with Lee making as much noise as he was, they immediately caught their attention. Two of the five, as soon as they had seen Lee, lost interest, but two had their eyes trained on Naruto and the last pair had looked down shyly at his tray of food.

"My fellow peers and dearest friends, allow me to introduce our new roommate, Uzumaki Naruto-kun!" Lee introduced, his tray clattering noisily down onto the table, and leaving an extra space between himself and a pony tailed boy, who didn't look a bit unsettled by this.

"Hello." the chubby boy Naruto had sat down next to murmured, though he still had yet to look up from his food. "Hiya!" Naruto greeted much more forwardly, and the boy dared to glance up at him a little before looking back down at his food and shoveling some of the goop into his mouth. Naruto turned to look across from him at a rugged brunette with triangular-shaped scars on his cheeks, who was glaring at his breakfast, looking rather upset. Squeezed tightly in his arms and huddled close to his chest was what looked like a white stuffed-dog with brown ears.

"The Jell-O...something's not right with it..." he muttered to himself, poking at his cup of Jell-O with his plastic spoon. The offending article of green edibleness jiggled. The rugged boy's eyes narrowed. "It's not jiggling right. Look at it!" he cried, starting to look more upset, before the tall boy with spiky black hair, sitting next to him, calmly picked the cup of Jell-O off of his tray and gave him his own cup of orange Jell-O. The rugged boy poked at this one too.

"They wouldn't poison Shino's, Kiba. There'd be no point." the pony tailed boy drawled. Kida didn't look the least bit comforted by this, but he did nibble at the orange jiggly. "Lee, aren't you going to introduce me to your new roommate?" another boy, this one with shiny, long black hair and pale violet eyes prompted. Lee dropped his spoon of oatmeal, which was halfway to his mouth, in horrified shock.

"WAAAHH!! Oh, forgive me!! How could I have been so rude and callous!!!" Lee cried, standing up abruptly. "To make up for this horrid act of negligence, I promise to do a hundred, one-handed pushups!!" he continued on fretfully. Before he could drop down to the floor and do just that, the long-haired boy merely raised an eyebrow, pulling Lee back into the current situation with just that single act.

"Naruto-kun, this is Hyuuga Neji-kun," Lee began, indicating to the pale-eyed boy, almost as if he had completely forgotten his earlier mishap, "Nara Shikamaru-kun," the pony tailed boy, "Aburame Shino-kun," the spiky-haired quiet one, "Inuzuka Kiba," the one holding the stuffed dog, "and Akimichi Chouji-kun." he finished, as he indicated to the chubby boy.

"Hi, I'm Naruto!" Naruto greeted brightly. Neji merely raised his eyebrow again in a mocking way, though the rest did greet him nicely, even all that Shino really did was nod at him. "So...how can you guys eat this shit? I mean, how can they just massacre _oatmeal_ this badly?" Naruto started. Neji's mocking expression was replaced by a small smirk. "I've formed a tolerance." he replied haughtily.

"Lunch and dinner usually aren't too bad, although Konoha makes a point to ruin breakfast _every single day_." Shikamaru added in a dull tone. "That's only because they lace this shit with something." Kiba commented sharply, already shoving his half-eaten orange Jell-O away; he hadn't even touched his oatmeal. Naruto wasn't too keen on trying it either.

"My oatmeal tastes fine." Chouji said, just a bit louder than a murmur. "You think _anything_ tastes fine." Neji cut back viciously. Chouji visibly cringed, yet Neji just ignored the admonishing glares he was receiving from the others. "At least he doesn't look like some pansy-ass transvestite." Naruto defended hotly. Neji stared at the blond in abject shock for a moment, before anger seeped into his form and he glared at him.

"I would beat your face in but I wouldn't want to dirty my hands or waste my time." Neji sniffed disdainfully. Before Naruto could retort, Shikamaru cut them off with a short "That's enough, or do you two want to get thrown into ISO?" and an eyeroll. Neji turned back to his food, sulking, and Naruto turned to Chouji with a mutter. "Don't listen to that prick--I think it's amazing how you can even stand to eat this!" he said. Chouji glanced up at Naruto again, this time with a small smile and longer eye-contact.

As Lee appeared to be in deep discussion with the empty space next to him, Naruto decided to turn to Shikamaru for his current question. "Where do we go after this?" the blond asked, pushing away his own barely-eaten tray of food.

"First we have to stop by the nurse's station for our pills (we have to take them each morning and night if prescription allows), then we can go pretty much anywhere, being a Saturday and all." Shikamaru answered, before turning to Shino. "Though don't you have a one-on-one session today?" the teen asked. Shino nodded.

"When are your one-on-one sessions, Naruto-kun?" Lee asked, apparently finished with his previous conversation. "Umm..." Naruto trailed off, trying to remember. "I think...Tuesdays and Thursdays, 3 pm and 1 pm." he replied. "Right after me." Neji commented thoughtfully, though it was more to himself than anyone at the table.

"Wow, Neji! This surely must be the hand of fate!" Kiba exclaimed sarcastically. Neji must have missed the sarcasm or ignored it, as he began to look over Naruto as if seeing him in a whole new light. This renewed interest in him made the blond a little uneasy, as Neji looked just a tad _too_ interested.

"Naruto-kun!" Lee started--causing said boy to wonder why the green-clad teen had to start every conversation using his addressee's name--, looking at the other with bright eyes. "H-Hai?" Naruto stuttered in mild surprise. "You will not attempt to kill Gama or I with your toothbrush, correct?" Lee asked, completely serious, if his expression and tone were anything to go by.

Naruto blinked. "No. Why the hell would I?" he answered, honest-to-God confused. Lee just flashed his signature grin, before turning away to talk to his side.

ENDOFCHAPTER

And that's the end of chapter one! YAY! Now, please review! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Alright, we've made it to the second chapter! Hurrah! Next chapter, I'll give you a quick overview on what, exactly, Naru and friends are inflicted with, if you haven't already figured it out. Just some pretty basic details. (smiles)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any other merchandise mentioned in this fic.

Warning: Same as first chapter.

Pairings: SasuNaru, KakaIru, GaaLee, ZabuHaku, more coming….some NejiNaru, SaiNaru, InoEveryone…

THECHAPTERBEGINS

"Can't we ever go outside?" Naruto grouched as he reclined into one of the armchairs in the commons. Neji, who had taken to being constantly near the blond, was seated in the couch next to him, along with Kiba. Shino had already departed to his personal session with a man named Ibiki-sensei, and Shikamaru was currently winning a game of go against Lee. Chouji had disappeared into the library--which required a good behavior report from a doctor in order to get into.

"No." came Shikamaru's short reply, though Naruto had a feeling this was just the other boy's way of avoiding a long and tiring (to Shikamaru, anyway) explanation. Still, Naruto scowled. "Borrrrriiinnng!" he complained loudly. Ignoring Shikamaru's "Tch, so troublesome!", Naruto turned to the two boys on the couch. "Do you two know of anything fun to do?" he asked hopefully.

Before Neji could reply, Kiba beat him to it. "They restrict us and watch us carefully in here. Whatever we're doing, they keep close tabs on." Kiba warned, clutching the stuffed dog--named Akamaru, Naruto had learned--closer to himself. Neji looked too offended at being cut off that he didn't even reply; instead he stared at Kiba with something akin to shock and disdain. This was not the answer Naruto was looking for, as he continued to complain.

"Its better being bored than being in group therapy!" Kiba snapped after enduring three minutes of the blond's continuous whining. Naruto looked at him questioningly. "Group therapy? Whazzat?" Naruto asked. "Where we sit in a circle and discuss whatever crackpot topic came to the freakin' doctors' minds when they shared a smoke." Kiba said.

"Kiba-kun's group works on boosting self-esteem and developing trust with others." Lee stage-whispered to Naruto, much to the puppy-loving boy's annoyance. "How do you know which group you're in?" Naruto asked worriedly; he was never told this!

"One of the orderlies will tell you soon. Group therapy only occurs on Wednesdays and Fridays." Shikamaru said, soundly beating Lee for the fifteenth time in a row. Finished with the game and ignoring the dumbfounded Lee, the pony tailed boy turned his full attention to Naruto. "There are twelve groups. Groups are divided into categories; depending on your affliction, you have three different categories with four groups in each category. Kiba, Shino, and Chouji, who all have some kind of nonviolent issue with themselves and/or other people, fall into the third category. Shino's in group 3-2, Kiba's in 3-4, and Chouji's in 3-3. Lee, Neji, and I are categorized into the second category; thus we are placed in group 2-1 together." Shikamaru explained.

Naruto really wasn't grasping this concept so easily, but it didn't seem that complex. Basically, it meant that whatever problem he had, he would be placed in a group with similar-like problems. Right. Not so difficult.

"So...what's the first category?" Naruto asked. The second category wasn't too hard to figure out; judging from Neji's and Lee's attitudes, he'd have to say it had something to do with flamboyancy, though he didn't really picture Shikamaru fitting into that...

"The first category is for all the violent types. I don't really understand why they put all the ones with violent urges together, but I suppose its better than putting someone like that with Chouji; at least another violent type would be able to defend himself or fight back, while most of the third category types will likely just let themselves be run into the ground." Shikamaru said boredly.

"Ne, ne, which group do you think I--" Naruto started, before he was cut off by the loudest screaming he had ever heard. The group of boys, as well as most of the people in the common room, turned their attention to the hallway where the loud, bellowing sound seemed to be coming from. It wasn't long until a group of orderlies dragging along the screaming male passed by. The boy was screaming at the top of his lungs, but Naruto didn't miss his vibrant mop of red hair as he was pulled away and out sight, only for the screams to be drowned in silenced.

"Sedatives." Neji murmured.

"Who the hell was that?" Naruto asked the others. "Sabaku Gaara. He's in the first category." Shikamaru said softly. "I heard it takes five orderlies just to keep him contained in a certain area when he gets like that. He's usually pretty quiet though." the boy concluded. "If you ignore the death threats he issues you with both his words and his eyes." Neji muttered.

If Naruto had been more perceptive, he may have noticed how quiet his new roommate had become since Gaara's scene.

SCENE BREAK

"Where's Chouji?" Naruto asked, as the small group of boys ambled along towards the cafeteria for dinner. "He'll be coming along soon; he never misses a meal." was Neji's reply--a strange mixture of consoling and caustic. "He likes to spend time in the library. No one bothers him there." Shikamaru added, sounding wistful. Kiba muttered something negative about that, which only earned him a mocking snort.

Entering the cafeteria, it seemed what the others boys had said was true, as Chouji was seated at their table, munching on his dinner--curry and rice, with Jell-O and chocolate milk. Getting in line with the others--though Lee had gotten ahead of them in his excitement over something or another--and grabbing a tray, Naruto let his eyes scan over the cafeteria again.

His eyes snapped to the side, as the feeling of being watched was burned into his body. Turning to look, he found himself staring into dark orbs. It was the same teen from before, leering at him, hunched over his untouched food tray. This time around, he was accompanied by a different orderly--this one pale with slanted eyes and long, black hair tied back in a loose ponytail. Another teen sat next to the orderly; a boy with silverish-white hair and dark eyes obscured by thin-rimmed glasses, his own hair long enough to be tied back in a ponytail.

Naruto glared at the dark boy, earning himself a smirk, before turning around to ignore the others and the cold shivers running up and down his spine. Moving along the line and getting his dinner, he hurriedly followed Neji to their table, where the others had already sat (Naruto had been the last, with Neji waiting for him).

Kiba, apparently, was ranting to the chubby boy, much to Neji's amusement. "They brainwash you, dammit, I've told you that!" Kiba growled. "They're just books, Kiba." Shikamaru placated, though it wasn't much of an attempt. Kiba just growled and huffed, before poking at his dinner. Shino, sitting next tot he rugged boy again, tried a bi of his own food before trading his and Kiba's curry and rice, as if saying "It's safe to eat."

Lee started picking out the carrots in his curry, placing them on the table in front of the empty space next to him and speaking rapidly. Shikamaru was eating his own dinner with a reluctant expression on his face, as if it was just too much work to actually chew and swallow the gunk. Neji was eating his food with the table manners fit for royalty, back straight and all. Naruto lifted his own fork to his mouth, ready to digest whatever shit they deemed food barely fit enough for human consumption, when the first wave of pain assaulted his temples.

Dropping his fork in order to rub irritably at his temples, his azure eyes glazed over. The sudden motion having caught Kiba's, Neji's, and Shino's attention (the three being closest to him and all), they stopped eating in order to stare inquisitively (or as inquisitive as Shino could look-- which was only an intense blank stare) at him. The sudden stopping of the others caught the last part of their friends' attention; their table was plunged into a silence only broken by Lee's anxious asking of Naruto's health.

Lee's question had turned into gibberish in Naruto's mind, and Naruto closed his eyes in an effort to concentrate. Waiting for their new blond friend to shake out of his stupor, it was only a millisecond later when Naruto's eyes snapped open, and the blond picked up his fork and proceeded to eat like nothing had happened.

"Naruto-kun? Are you feeling alright?" Lee asked, twittering nervously in his seat. Naruto either ignored him or didn't hear him, as he didn't even glance in the green-clad teen's direction as he ate. "Hey, Naruto!" Kiba snapped, catching the blond's attention, as the brunette was sitting just across from him. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Kiba continued, though he sounded less worried and more suspicious.

In return, Naruto narrowed his eyes at him. "And who the hell are you? You look like a gutter dog!" Naruto retorted waspishly. "What was that?!" Kiba yelled, standing abruptly. Shino placed a hand on his arm in order to calm him down, but Naruto's mocking smirk did not help the situation any.

"What's the matter, mutt? Or haven't they given you your doggy treats yet?" Naruto taunted, voice mocking. "Naruto-kun, please stop!" Lee begged, and Chouji started to tremble at the obvious energy crackling in the air. Naruto turned to Lee with an eyebrow, a scowl on his tanned face.

"Naruto? Naruto isn't here, you wannabe-elf. Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Naruto growled. Shikamaru, apparently, had clicked all the pieces together, and now only needed to confirm his thoughts. "Ah, forgive us then. Who might we be talking to, then?" the pony tailed boy asked calmly. Naruto gave him an indescribable glance, but did respond.

"I am _Kyuubi_."

A brief quiet followed his announcement, earning Naruto's disdainful sneer before he began to eat again.

"I see. Split personalities." Neji murmured finally, breaking the silence, his confirmation being Shikamaru's nod. "Like Gaara..." the longhaired boy trailed off in thoughtfulness. Lee turned even wider eyes to the vicious blond, who had continued eating, much to Kiba's fury.

"Well, bring Naruto back, 'cause he's sure a helluva lot better than you!" Kiba growled, though he did re-take his seat, yet his glower hadn't lessened a bit. Naruto just raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not his freaking sitter, mutt. I don't know where the hell he is." was Naruto's reply. Kiba's eye twitched ominously, before Shino placed his cup of Jell-O in front of the fuming brunette. Kiba tore it open with vigor, glaring at Naruto the entire time as he ate.

"Kyuubi-san." Shikamaru called, drawing the blond's attention away from his meal. "I am Nara Shikamaru." was all he had to say, before he shoved his tray away from himself and laid his head upon his arms, and for all intents and purposes, looked ready to fall asleep.

Naruto snorted in amusement at his behavior. "Hyuuga Neji." was Neji's comment, and he was eyeing the blond all over again with even more interest. "Rock Lee." was Lee's subdued reply. "Inuzuka Kiba, and this is Aburame Shino and Akimichi Chouji." came Kiba's growling introduction. Naruto started ignoring them then, finishing up his meal quietly before throwing his trash away.

"Later, mutt and friends." was the blond's only remark as he slinked out of the cafeteria, oblivious to the dark stare he was being given from a different corner.

ENDOFCHAPTER

And now we've met Kyuubi! Now go review, my lovely, lovely readers…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: And a third chapter! I thin its best to put out at least three chapters at the start…better chance at getting reviews! Heh!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any other merchandise mentioned in this fic.

Warnings: Same as first chapter.

Pairings: SasuNaru, KakaIru, GaaLee, ZabuHaku, more coming…some NejiNaru and SaiNaru as well.

THECHAPTERBEGINS

"Lee-san!"

"HAI!" Lee yelped, rushing up towards the nurse holding his pills, an excited grin on his face. The nurse just fixed a smile on her face as she handed them to him. "They will make me stronger, and I shall soon bloom in the springtime of my influential years!" Lee cried, swallowing all three pills in one big gulp. The nurse nodded and continued on, leaving the bowl-cut boy to strike poses to himself.

Naruto sat next to Neji in the nurse's station, also waiting for his own meds. The blond was the same Naruto they had met in the beginning, not having any recollection of what had transpired during dinner, and only looking more confused when the others started asking about 'Kyuubi'. "What the hell is a 'Kyuubi'?" Naruto had questioned, and the others just left it at that.

"Ah, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto looked up from the chair he had been relaxing in, straight into Iruka's smiling face. The man looked him over before re-focusing in on his face. "How was your first day? Do you feel alright?" Iruka asked kindly.

"Iruka-sensei, no doctor stuff when we're not even in your office!" came the groan from one of the other patients sitting near the blond. Iruka just rolled his eyes playfully, before handing Naruto a cup of water and a handful of pills. "Make sure to take them all." Iruka said, watching to make sure Naruto did as told.

"Ne, Iruka-sensei..." Naruto began unsurely, after finishing off his medication. Iruka raised an eyebrow at the hesitant youth. "Ah, well, ya see...the guys were telling me about the group therapy, and I was just wondering..." Naruto trailed off again, but Iruka seemed to have realized as to what he wanted. "You want to know where you're placed?" Iruka finished for him. Naruto nodded eagerly.

"Well, it's not official yet, but most likely you'll be in category one, Naruto-kun." Iruka said calmly, looking thoughtful. Naruto stared at him in incomprehension. "But why? I'm not hurting anyone!" Naruto insisted, pouting. Iruka just smiled at him. "Hai, Naruto-kun, you haven't hurt anyone." the scarred man agreed, before walking away with a soft goodbye issued to the blond.

"Naruto-kun." Naruto turned to the boy calling his name, giving the long-haired boy an inquisitive look. Neji smiled slyly. "I would like to escort you to your room." was all Neji had to say, in that same uppity way of his. Naruto just shrugged. "Sure, why not?" the blond agreed, walking alongside the pale-eyed teen.

"A good night's rest is what is needed in order to greet the new day!" Lee proclaimed, amidst Shikamaru's eyeroll and Kiba's mutterings. Chouji, who had appeared during dinnertime, walked off with Shino, as the two were roommates. Kiba followed them, his own room being in the same hall, holding Akamaru close and mumbling something into the stuffed dog's head. Shikamaru had strolled off in another direction, leaving the other three teens to themselves and their trek to Naruto's and Lee's room.

"Oyasuminasai!" was chorused along the room from all the nurses as orderlies dispersed to patrol the hallways. Lee's amicable chatter took up most of the trip to the room, though Naruto couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at Neji's close proximity.

SCENE BREAK

Naruto wandered around the commons, unable to find any of his new friends, much to his dismay. Not feeling in the mood to socialize, he sat down in a cushy armchair and stared around for all of two seconds before jumping up with an aggravated sound. Ignoring a passing nurse's look of suspicion, he walked out and into the maze of hallways.

"Dammit...I should have asked where Neji's and Shika's room was, so I could at least bother them." Naruto muttered, walking along a hall decorated with patches of good artwork from well-wishers not of residence of the institution.

Turning into another unfamiliar hallway, it was too little, too late when Naruto came to the abrupt realization that he was lost. Cursing under his breath, he glanced around to find the hallway devoid of any other life-forms. And cursed again. Turning to kick at the wall in frustration, he didn't notice another figure turn the corner and slowly stroll towards him.

"Is the little boy lost?"

Head whipping around to face the owner of the voice, Naruto stared at the slim figure of the male teen leaning against the wall, a smile on the other boy's face. "And such a pretty little boy, too." the boy commented. He was taller than Naruto by at least six inches, with dark eyes and equally dark hair cut short. He was muscled and pale, though not unusually so.

"I'm not a little boy, asshole." Naruto snapped back in irritation. The boy still had that same mocking smile on. "Oh, so you're a little girl?" he asked, earning Naruto's full-glare. The boy didn't change expression, however, but merely took a few steps forward in Naruto's direction.

"Y-You're the one that looks like a freakin' girl!" Naruto shot out, suddenly finding that smile very intimidating. Said smile only grew, as if the owner were actually amused. The other teen evaluated Naruto for just a moment, before suddenly rushing forward.

The back of Naruto's head knocked against the wall, as his arms were tugged and pinned over his head. A knee was pushed up gently against his crotch, and hot breath ghosted over his eyes and lips. "It's been awhile..." the dark teen started, the words like a knife under satin, "...since I've seen anyone as interesting as yourself." The knee pushed up and rubbed, creating a very appealing friction that had the blond frantically trying to stifle his moan.

"I suppose I shouldn't waste such a golden opportunity." the dark teen continued, licking at Naruto's collarbone. Naruto was unfairly lacking the lung capacity to scream for help, as the taller boy's licking turned into small nips and sucking. Suddenly, he bit down, causing the blond boy to let out a strangled choke of pain. "St-Stop it!" Naruto managed out, attempting to free himself, but the other boy's hold was just too strong.

The dark teen's hand snaked under Naruto's shirt to painfully pinch the blond's nipples, and unbidden tears came to Naruto's eyes. "Stop it!" he cried, but he was ignored. The knee began to move faster and harder, and Naruto could only ride it out and bite his bottom lip to not let out any unwanted moans.

Naruto's release came with a sharp gasp, which was followed by the taller boy being violently ripped away from him. Naruto blinked away the white dots and tears in his vision, his bones feeling no more sturdy than pudding. He was sitting on the floor, having slid down the wall after the episode.

A little aways from him was the taller boy, getting punched by another, unknown teen. The blond's 'savior' had long, dark brown hair (longer than Neji's), with a pale and slim figure. The taller boy, apparently, did not like being punched, and fought back just as viciously. Naruto stood up shakily, looking down at himself in veiled confusion.

"Why am I so sticky?" Kyuubi wondered aloud, looking vaguely irritated at being both sticky AND shaky. Not even glancing at the scuffling duo, the blond scampered away without another word.

SCENE BREAK

Lee smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in his clothes with shaky hands, before glancing over his reflection nervously. Checking his pockets to make sure he had the gift with him, he exited the room, practically a ball of panic. The teen, while he did enjoy the company, was still glad Gama had decided Lee needed to do this alone. He didn't think he'd be able to handle this with an audience; besides, who knew how Gama would react?

Reaching his destination, he stared at the dark blue door of room 312 in apprehension, before slowly entering. Closing the door behind him with uncharacteristic quietness, Lee's black eyes landed on the slim, reclining figure on the bed.

Pale skin, red hair, dark-rimmed green eyes..._Sabaku Gaara_.

"G--Gaara-san?" Lee started, shuffling forward. There was no response, but Gaara's eyes were trained on him with cold expectancy. "I b-brought you something!" Lee managed to force out f his dry throat, before trembling hands pulled out a small, clay badger. It was surprisingly good, but all of the bright colors splashed across its surface dampened the overall appeal of the small figure.

"...Its hideous." was the only reply. Lee visibly deflated, nearly dropping the rejected badger in shame. _Why didn't I see it before? Of course Gaara-san wouldn't like it_! Lee thought in misery. _I shall do 500 sit-ups to make up for this horrible blunder!_

Gaara sat up, pulling in Lee's attention once again as the paler boy looked at him with blank interest. A moment later, the redhead motioned Lee over, and the lanky boy complied timidly, fidgeting in his discomfort. As soon as Lee was in reaching distance, Gaara grabbed him by the wrist and pulled the skinny boy on top of him. With a startled squawk, Lee was sprawled over the slightly smaller boy, face as red as a tomato.

"G-Gaara-san!" Lee stuttered, but a curt "Be quiet." had him silent. With his head lying on Gaara's chest, arms at Gaara's sides, and their legs entwined, an outsider may think they were cuddling. However, Gaara's hands were gripping Lee's bicep and hip so tightly it would surely leave painful bruises.

"I want...to be the one for you, Lee." Gaara murmured, breath ghosting over the top of the black-haired boy's head. Lee shivered lightly, eyes half-lidded. To anyone else, that comment may have sounded intimate, personal, _romantic_. But Lee knew what it really meant:

_I want to be the one that destroys you, Lee._

SCENE BREAK

"Did you hear? Sai and Haku were put in ISO again." a pink-haired girl giggled to her companions. The blond girl nodded in interest, a small smirk on her pink lips; though she did seem to be the only ne out of the other three even listening. Shikamaru, unfortunately (to him), had chosen to lounge in the couch right behind the four female patients, and was just too damn lazy to move elsewhere. He sighed, resigning himself to consciousness, as the high-pitched girl voices were sure to keep him there.

"How troublesome." he muttered, but it was loud enough for the girl with her back to him to suddenly jump up with a startled shriek, whirling around with wide, pale violet eyes. Her small, petite form was trembling violently, and she looked as if she'd experience a heart attack right then and there.

"What's wrong, Hinata-chan?" the blond girl asked, before spotting Shikamaru. A sly, seductive smile settled on her face as she leaned over the backs of the couch sensually, her bosom pushed up and showing a good view of it to the uninterested boy.

"Shika! Lazing about, as usual?" she purred in greeting, winking at him in playfulness. Shikamaru merely snorted, eyeing the girl boredly. "Don't you have any clothes that _don't_ make you look like you fought a lawn mower and lost?" he replied back in monotone. The blond girl only giggled.

"Ino-chan, leave Shikamaru-kun alone!" the pink-haired girl whined, put-out that her audience had been taken. "Oh, hush, Sakura-chan." Ino retorted smartly, eyes still fluttering prettily at the boy. Shikamaru, though, wasn't paying attention to her anymore; he was currently staring warily at the brunette girl with Chinese buns. Said girl was muttering feverishly as she gently fixed the pillows on the couch next to his own, according to size, and angled the tables perfectly perpendicular to the armrests.

"Tenten, leave the couches alone or Anko-sensei will scold you again!" Sakura snapped, obviously irritated at being blown off by Ino. Shikamaru inwardly thanked the pink-haired eccentric when Tenten stilled. "But--But they don't like being out of order, Sakuraaaa!" Tenten wailed, distraught, pointing at the pillows. Ino rolled her eyes. "I think it's more like _you_ don't like them out of order." she muttered under her breath, just audible enough for Shikamaru to hear.

"Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru didn't even glance back at the call of his name, already knowing who that enraged voice belonged to. Sure enough, Neji stomped into his sight, the picture of pompous, suppressed anger. It would have been more impressive, if Shikamaru hadn't known that Neji spent practically three hours on his hair alone...it only getting worse with Naruto's appearance.

Ever since Kiba's snarky comment that fueled Neji's 'Fate-plans-all' mindset, the long-haired boy had been obsessed with the small blond. Shikamaru had the strong suspicion that Neji thought himself to be some kind of main character in his own romance novel...he'd have to ask Chouji's opinion on it later, when he got enough motivation to.

"Have you seen Naruto? He isn't in his room, the cafeteria, the art hall, or here!" Neji listed off in irritation, blatantly ignoring the girls. "Ooh, Neji got himself a boyfriend?" Ino giggled, Sakura soon following. Hinata was near-hyperventilating at her cousin's sudden appearance to do much else, and Sakura's distracted motions to calm the girl down were not really helping. Tenten was staring at Shikamaru's lazy figure in utter horror, left eye twitching ominously at the sight of his feet on the armrest and a pillow on the floor.

"He may have gotten lost. He _is_ new." Shikamaru replied boredly, also ignoring the girls. Ino huffed in indignance, but didn't get to comment (likely in an insulting fashion), as a blond bundle of energy practically threw itself onto Neji's lean form.

"Well, speak of the devil." Shikamaru muttered, as the blond bundle revealed itself to be a panicking Naruto. "Naruto!" Neji exclaimed, looking very smug at having the blond clinging to him. Pale violet eyes glanced the blond over appreciatively, before catching sight of the hand-shaped bruises on Naruto's wrists. Almost as suddenly as Naruto had appeared, Neji broke free from the blond and had grabbed the whiskered-boy's arms in a strong grip.

"Where the hell did you get these?" Neji hissed, and poor Hinata looked ready to faint then and there. She quickly fled; her heart couldn't take this anymore. Neji, meanwhile, looked ready to commit a bloody and efficient murder. "Who did this to you?" he growled, the epitome of fury.

Naruto was wincing from the vicious hold, before Shikamaru stepped in and tugged lightly at Neji's arm. Neji came back to his senses, and with one last, dark mutter, released the blond. Naruto rubbed his arms--he was going to get bruises again. _Great..._ he thought in annoyance.

"I apologize, Naruto. I was merely upset that someone dared hurt you." Neji ground out. _Because you belong to me, dammit!_ Naruto only nodded. "It's alright; it was nothing big anyway. I can take care of myself, ya know." Naruto replied easily enough.

_Nothing big, eh? _Shikamaru thought, with doubt lacing it. _While Haku isn't exactly known for taking care of his well-being, he wouldn't just jump Sai without a reason. And Sai...Sai is something else. Almost as bad as the Uchihas. _He glanced over the bruises on Naruto's wrists. _Tch...how troublesome._

THECHAPTERENDS

The third chapter! Now, wonderful and marvelous readers, feel pity for your groveling authoress and review! THANK YOU!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Another chapter is out. Hurrah! Still, I'm only halfway done with the FMN chapter….agh… Oh, and I did say I'd post a list of what they're afflicted with, but I've decided not to. It's easy enough to tell, right? So here's just a short review: Naruto is MPD/DID, Neji is narcissistic, Shika is schizoaffective, Lee's ADHD with an imaginary friend, Kiba's paranoid, Chouji's dysthymic, and Shino's super-quiet and suicidal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other merchandise mentioned in this fic.

Pairings: SasuNaru, KakaIru, GaaLee, ShinoKiba, OroKabu, more as it progresses…some NejiNaru, SaiNaru, and OroSasu as well.

THE CHAPTER BEGINS

"This is rigged, isn't it?" Kiba growled, though he sounded sour instead of suspicious. Next to him, Shikamaru snorted, eyeing his own hand of cards with extreme dislike. "It's not my fault you two suck at this game." Naruto chirped happily, before giving Shikamaru a false-coy look as he sweetly called out "Have a six?" Glowering, the lazy boy slapped down a six of hearts in front of the smug blond.

"Your extraordinary, Naruto-kun!" Lee claimed, looking at the 12 pairs of cards laid out before the blond boy, all won in the game of Go Fish. Naruto grinned at the praise, not even bothering to swat away Neji's hands, which were currently running through his hair. Whatever kept the strange boy quiet and happy was fine to Naruto, since Chouji was here, after all.

"This is bullshit. I demand we play a different game!" Kiba growled, slamming down his hand of cards before throwing all of them to the floor in his anger. Shikamaru put down his own hand, relief in his eyes. "Sore loser." Naruto muttered, giving up his own hand to Kiba's fury.

"Kiba-kun, those are Gama's cards!" Lee cried in utmost horror, attempting to snatch the cards away from the other teen. "The _fire of youth_ is churning in me, Lee!" was Kiba's sarcastic reply, as he threw the cards around. A girl across the room was now looking at them, Shikamaru realized, her drool nearly soaking the upper portion of her shirt. "Shino, please calm him down." the pony tailed boy muttered, and Shino easily complied, simply handing the rugged teen his stuffed dog.

"You have an individual session today, don't you, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked, sidling away from Kiba, who was now cradling Akamaru and glaring across the room at a passing nurse. Naruto nodded distractedly, attempting to discreetly get away o the long-haired teen, but Neji was having none of that and kept the blonde in place with one hand.

"I got Jiraiya-sensei. Any of you know who that is?" Naruto asked. "Isn't he that weird old guy always trying to look in the Nurse's dressing room?" Chouji piped up questioningly. Shikamaru nodded, and Kiba's face slowly broke out into a maniacal grin.

"EH!!!!"

SCENE BREAK

"Why can't he ever behave?" Nurse Kurenai sighed, after having given the ISO-contained Sai his lunch. Her fellow nurse and peer, Anko, just snorted. "Getting that boy to behave is like getting Hinata-chan to communicate without stuttering." she said with conviction.

"Difficult?"

"Impossible."

Kurenai frowned. "Don't be such a pessimist, Anko. Hinata-chan's getting better." she said. Anko just rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say." she muttered, walking off to tend to other matters. Namely making sure the perverted Jiraiya makes it in time for his appointment with the new kid.

Anko sighed. Being a nurse was just so depressing.

Kurenai watched her friend walk away, before continuing on to the next isolation cell. She opened the door, alert but not tense. "Haku-kun? Your time is up." she called out into the eerily silent cell. He got to get out earlier than Sai, being the one getting beaten when the orderlies and nurses found them. Haku was a nice kid, sure, but he was also the _creepiest_. He reminded Anko vaguely of the elder Uchiha; at least, when he was in one of his 'low' moods.

Slowly, Haku walked out of the cell, head hung low as he trudged down the hallway and out of sight. With a put-upon sigh, Kurenai closed the empty padded room. She would just never understand that kid.

SCENE BREAK

"Why are you here?" came the welcoming growl. Inwardly, Kakashi wondered if the growl was something the teenager had inherited from his father, or if he had learned it from all the group therapy sessions he shared with Gaara. Either way, it was a rather chilling, but having spent most of his waking hours with the raven-haired teen or his kin, Kakashi was far too used to it.

"As much fun as it would be to add 'showing signs of anorexic behavior' to your daily report, I'd prefer to escort you to lunch." Kakashi replied nonchalantly. "Why don't you read your porn and leave me be, you miserable bastard?" the teen growled, but stalked out of his room nonetheless. Kakashi's one visible eye crinkled in amusement. "Now why would I do that when I can spend my time with you?" the man questioned sweetly.

"Stop sweet-talking your patients or I'll tell Iruka." was the raven boy's retort.

"So cruel to me, Sasuke-kun. And just when I got the name of your little blond angel." Kakashi mourned, reveling in the complete stop the boy came to. Ah, to have the upper hand against an Uchiha...Kakashi loved the feeling...

"Well?" Sasuke snapped. Kakashi pulled a mock-sad expression. "Patience is a virtue, Sasuke-kun. I'll tell you after you eat lunch." Kakashi waved him off. He realized this was a wrong move, as Sasuke pivoted and launched at him. Side-stepping the teen quickly, he grabbed the boy around the waist before he could try tackling him again.

As Sasuke cursed him to hell and back, Kakashi pulled the struggling teen down the hall with a bored expression. "Keep going like this, Sasuke, and I'll put you in ISO with Sai." Kakashi said plaintively, effectively silencing the growling teen. When it looked as if the boy had calmed down, the silver-haired man released him.

"Now let's go eat lunch, Sasuke-kun." Kakashi grinned, leading the way. Sasuke glowered at the man's back, the urge to tear him apart with his bare hands nearly swallowing his senses, before he forcibly choked that side of him back. He would _not_ be like Itachi.

"We're having..._curry_ today!" Kakashi said, doing his little jiggle-dance he normally reserved for his books. Sasuke wondered what he had done (well, _which_ deed he had done) to deserve Kakashi as his assigned orderly. That Kakashi didn't find him the least bit intimidating was another sore spot.

"I despise you." was Sasuke's reply, served cold. Kakashi didn't stop his jiggle-dance, though, until another orderly passed by and smacked him in the back of the head. "Don't slack off, Kakashi." the woman scolded lightly, not even stopping as she passed. "You shouldn't be violent in front of patients, Kurenai!" Kakashi called back. He heard a distinct snort before the woman turned the corner.

Reaching the cafeteria, intact and with all limbs (Kakashi counts his blessings), Kakashi grabbed the teen's pre-made tray as he lead him to the usual table. It was decided that certain, more hostile patients would not have to get in line like the others, as it proves to be disastrous and often bloody.

Kakashi flipped open his beloved _Icha Icha Paradise _novel, but still kept an eye on the teen. As usual, Sasuke took two bites from everything on his tray, three sips of his drink, and then broods for five minutes. This cycle of eat, drink, and brood went throughout the entire mealtime, until Sasuke had his fill. Kakashi often had the inkling that Sasuke did this on purpose, just to irritate him. Hence the reason he brought the book. Orochimaru, Kakashi's substitute, was the only other person in the institution who could stand the young Uchiha's eating patterns, and moreso because he leaned toward pedophilia (or so the gossip circle says).

"Working hard, Kakashi?" came the sarcastic drawl from somewhere near him. Kakashi glanced up to see the lounging figure of his friend, Asuma. The man's fingers twitched with the urge to hold a cigarette, but the rules being what they are, he had to wait until his four-thirty break period. Next to him sat Ten-Ten, who looked to be in serious discussion with her spoon. Sakura was across from her, blushing as she nibbled at her food and stared at Sasuke alternatively. Next to the girl was Kabuto; likely the reason why Asuma was present.

"Ah...where's Ino?" Kakashi asked. Asuma glanced back at the two girls and one boy. "In a session with Anko-san." he replied gruffly. The obvious _Thank God!_ practically screaming off of him seemed to only be recognized by Kakashi.

Sasuke's twitching left hand alerted Kakashi to the boy's irritation; the man figured so, as the teen could barely stand Sakura OR Kabuto. "Done, Sasuke?" Kakashi inquired boredly, though the teen didn't reply and Kakashi didn't wait for an answer, as he picked up the tray and handed it off to clean-up, leading the teen out with a short wave to Asuma.

"What's his name?" Sasuke demanded, as soon as they had stepped out of the cafeteria. Kakashi thought about playing the 'Who?' game with him, but didn't think Sasuke's nerves could stand for that right now, and he _really _didn't want to throw the teen in ISO.

"Naruto." Kakashi said shortly.

There was an eerie quiet by his side, before Kakashi felt that familiar chill sweep up his spine as the crazy teen smirked triumphantly.

"_Naruto._"

_Iruka's going to kill me._ Kakashi thought.

SCENE BREAK

Kyuubi was currently lounging in the armchair across from his white-haired doctor, who was watching the blond with veiled interest. The teen wasn't looking back, however, as he dispassionately let his eyes wander over the office in obvious contempt. He was less than impressed, and the book of questionable virtue he had spotted on the man's dresser before he had tucked it away took the man's impressiveness down a few more notches.

"Your office sucks." Kyuubi concluded, turning blue eyes to the man. Jiraiya's lips curled up in a small grin. "I suppose is rather bland." he agreed amicably. Kyuubi smirked. "Isn't it a reflection of the owner?" the teen mused. Jiraiya, however, merely made a small humming noise that made Kyuubi's hair stand on end. He _despised_ that noise.

The room, while not that despicable off-white color, was mostly tan, save the east wall, which was a lurid green reminiscent of Lee's onesie outfit. The desk and cabinets were made of polished wood, the handles of pure black plastic, and the flooring was the same linoleum-tile that seemed to stretch throughout the entire institution.

Good God, this _entire place_ sucked.

"How are you adjusting?" Jiraiya decided to start. Kyuubi muttered something the man felt was none-too-nice, before re-focusing his attention on the man. "My roommate is an elf with an imaginary friend, while his _real_ friends consist of a mutt, a lazy ass, a social recluse, a shy pig, and my own personal stalker. How do you _think_ I'm adjusting?" was the acidic response.

Right. Jiraiya noted Kyuubi to be the...less sociable one, then. Arashi's observations appeared to be correct on that point. Jiraiya decided to try a different approach.

"How is Naruto adjusting?" he asked. Kyuubi paused, which Jiraiya quickly wrote down in his observations, before the teen started replying. "The little idiot is getting along fine. Just relishing the attention he's being given." the blond grumbled. Oddly enough, he didn't sound at all irritated with this.

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Relishing? He likes the attention?" he asked. Kyuubi scowled; yes, definitely not the friendly type, this one. "Who doesn't like attention? Besides, we didn't have any friends before we came here. It's a novel experience for him." Kyuubi said viciously.

Jiraiya quickly wrote that down. Kyuubi appeared to not have realized he had something so important; Jiraiya noted this down as well.

"I hate this place." the teen muttered under his breath.

SCENE BREAK

"And she kept watching me! So I told her to leave me alone, 'cause I wasn't going to give in, and you know what she did? She told me her favorite color was apple! Apple!" Kiba ranted, his usual suspicion and occasional hysteria lacing his voice. Shino just nodded at all the right moments, and Shikamaru wasn't even listening.

"Apples are red, you guys! The color of blood! Don't you get it?" Kiba cried, looking utterly desperate. Shino patted the other boy's arm in comfort, both in an attempt to placate him and not start another one of the rugged boy's episodes and have the nurses swarming them.

Kiba had a miserable look on his face, and he crept into the lap off the taller boy. "I need protection, Shino. I don't know if I can stay here much longer. Its like they're closing in on me." he murmured. Shino just rubbed soothing circles in his back, and Kiba clung to him tighter. "You're the only one I can trust, Shino." he whispered into the other boy's neck. Shino glanced up, and was vaguely irritated to see a nurse eyeing them with a conflicting look on her face.

"Nurse." Shino murmured lightly, his voice only slightly raspy from rare use. Kiba let out an unsatisfied growl, but fluidly fell out of Shino's lap so his upper half was sprawled across the couch and the bottom over Shino's lap. "This is why I hate the commons. All they ever do is _watch _you." he whined. Shino just nodded.

Shikamaru, meanwhile, was staring at the ceiling, looking almost comatose. He was completely unmoving, save the rise and fall of his chest to indicate he was breathing, and the every few seconds he would blink. It really should have been surprising he had managed to make it all the way to the commons by himself, but no one had been paying attention.

"Shikamaru-kun is not feeling well?" a quiet voice broke through Kiba muttered ranting. Both boys turned towards the owner, who was looking downcast and slightly paler than his usual fair skin tone. "Haku! Out of ISO?" Kiba asked, earning a small nod as the long-haired boy shuffled over to Shikamaru.

"He must have slipped into an episode while we were talking." Kiba frowned, realizing the pony tailed boy was less interested than usual. Haku appeared to be concerned by this for the briefest of moments, before he looked to have completely lost interest as he took a seat in a nearby armchair.

"Orochimaru-sensei went into Kabuto-kun's room again. I saw him when I was going to lunch." Haku commented idly. Kiba re-took his seat next to Shino, leaning against the other teen comfortably. "Yeah, don't you eat with Kabuto?" he asked. Haku shrugged. "Only sometimes. He's with Orochimaru-sensei as much as possible." he said.

Haku seemed to finally realize something, as he glanced around expectantly. "Where's Neji-kun? I didn't think he had any Good Behavior notes to get into anywhere." he pointed out. Kiba let a lazy smirk creep upon his face. "He's waiting outside Jiraiya-sensei's office for his True Love. I wouldn't be surprised if he cons Chouji into sneaking him in some flowers from the Field." he snickered. Haku's eyebrow rose.

"Neji found someone to, ah...court?" the pale teen asked, though he did start to look amused. Kiba nodded. "New kid, Uzumaki Naruto. He's rooming with Lee; the blond's got multiple personalities." the rugged boy said. Haku snorted. "Of all the people to project his fantasies on..." Haku shook his head, a small smile on his face.

Haku paused, a sudden thought coming to mind. _I haven't given Zabuza a gift in quite awhile..._ Haku thought, the creeping fingers of frantic nervousness beginning to dive into his mind. "Oh no..." he murmured, clutching the armrests in worry. _What should I do? I surely can't give him another painting, he'll get bored with it...perhaps something I made in ceramics. Not the bowls, they looked horrible, but the teacups didn't look that bad... _Haku's train of thought continued in this thread for quite awhile, as Kiba and Shino were engaged in a one-sided conversation about the activities allowed in the Field and how the restrictions fueled something more sinister.

Sometime around 2:30 in the afternoon, Naruto and Neji strolled out into the commons, the former looking tired and slightly puzzled, and the latter giving the teen "comfort" with his arm wrapped around the smaller boy's shoulders. Haku, Kiba, and Shino were in the midst of _Scrabble_, Kiba losing pathetically while Shino and Haku were close, Haku in the lead. Only Kiba turned to look when the pair approached; Shikamaru still wasn't doing much of anything.

"Enjoy your first session?" Kiba greeted, a grin on his face. Naruto's expression became more puzzled. "Jiraiya-sensei didn't make any sense at all...as was just sitting there for a second, and then he's telling me that's all for today and he's looking forward to seeing me on Thursday. We didn't even talk!" Naruto complained, sitting down, Neji following suit. Kiba raised an eyebrow, but Neji gave him a look that clearly read "Don't ask."

With a small smile, Haku concluded the game, the winner. Without a single change in expression, Shino leaned back and allowed Kiba to get comfortable against him, much to the pale boy's amusement. Haku turned to look at the newcomers, eyes alighting upon Neji first. "Neji-kun." he greeted, and received only a small nod in return, before his eyes moved on to the blond.

Naruto grinned at him, perfectly cheerful. "Hiya! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!"

END OF CHAPTER

Hm….not much Lee in this, and not even any Gaara…but there is a cliffhanger! HAH! And more Haku and Sasuke. Then, please review!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Wow, that was a really long break, huh? Sorry, lot of stuff happening. That's why my other stories are suffering, too… But one day they will all be completed! And finally, another chapter for this story!

Oh, and since someone asked, "oyasumi nasai" is the polite way of saying "Goodnight." I don't know if that's the literal translation (it could be "I'm going to bed/sleep.") but that's pretty much the gist. If you happen to disagree, please correct me nicely so I don't have to curse my Japanese teachers for wrong information.

**Disclaimer:** The usual—I do not own Naruto or any other merchandise in this fic.

**Warnings:** YAOI, SHOUNEN-AI, whatever you want to label it. Mentions of abuse, molestation, obviously mental illness…

**Pairings:** SasuNaru, ShinoKiba, GaaLee, ZabuHaku, KakaIru, some SaiNaru, NejiNaru, SakuSasu, and others.

THECHAPTERBEGINSTHECHAPTERBEGINSTHECHAPTERBEGINS

"Y-You!" Haku choked out, eyes wide as he stared at the now-puzzled blond. Naruto stared at the other boy, an innocently confused expression on his face. "Me?" the blonde echoed. Haku just stared at him.

"We missing something?" Kiba questioned, eyes narrowed and glancing back and forth between the two. "Tch. Troublesome." was the drawled input of another, and Naruto's and Kiba's heads instantly swiveled to the slouching form of Shikamaru, who was looking off into the air above his left shoulder, muttering under his breath.

"You're alive!"

"You're aware!"

Both boys exclaimed simultaneously, in mild shock. Shikamaru just gave them both an 'are-you-stupid?' look before reclining on his sofa.

"How do you know Naruto?"

Neji's question brought everyone's focus back to the paler teen, who was staring at Naruto with a glazed look in his eyes. Neji himself was tense and glaring spitfire at the other youth. Haku snapped out of his state, shaking his head with a thoughtful frown, before turning to Neji, who looked to be restraining himself from causing Haku physical harm.

"Ah...unfortunately, I met Naruto-kun in an...altercation..." Haku trailed off, eyes once again on the blond, who just looked more confused. "You got in a fight, Naruto?" Kiba snickered, smirking at the whisker-scarred teen. Naruto shot him an indignant look, but answered with a petulant "No!"

Haku just looked strangely frustrated. "Surely you remember, Naruto-kun? I was the one who tackled Sai away from you." he explained calmly. "Sai?!" was the chorus of choked voices that greeted this statement, drowning out Naruto's "Who's that?"

"You ran into Sai?" Neji growled, pale eyes immediately lowering to the blonde's wrists. Naruto didn't answer, feeling uncomfortable with Neji's hot gaze, and he shifted his wrists out of sight nervously.

"Sai had you pinned to the wall, Naruto-kun..." Haku trailed off again, seemingly ignoring the growing fury of the Hyuuga before him. Kiba shifted closer to Shino near-imperceptibly. "Pinned? Just what the _hell_ did he do?" Neji ground out.

"I don't know! I don't even know what he's talking about!" Naruto wailed, arms waving around sporadically, one finger pointed in Haku's direction. "He's whacked!" the blond whined loudly. From Shikamaru's area came a snort, as if the boy found the statement amusing, but no one chose to pursue that.

"MY YOUTHFUL COMPANIONS!!"

All conversation halted as Lee bounded into the room, eyes bright and eyebrows as bushy as ever. Naruto swore he saw roses in the background as Lee reached them, and even a little background music. Still, no one said anything. Not that it would have made a difference.

"I have just returned from an enlightening session with GAI-SENSEI!!" Lee declared, striking a good-guy pose. "I have realized that not only has GAI-SENSEI gotten COOLER and HIPPER, I have also discovered that, in order to reach my true potential, I must---"

"Shut. Up. Lee."

Silence reigned once again after Neji's hissed command, though Lee looked ready to break down into tears. As if to make up for the momentary silence, _Haku_ abruptly burst into tears. Naruto started, catching Neji's attention once again, as the taller, long-haired boy attempted to 'comfort' him (read: excessive touching/groping).

"Nurses." Shikamaru muttered as he slinked away, followed quickly by Kiba and Shino. It was at that moment that Lee started sobbing, and swatting away an imaginary hand from his shoulder. Torn between trying to help the distraught pair or run away, Naruto didn't put up much of a fight as Neji decided on the latter for both of them and led the blond out, just as three nurses swamped the sobbing duo.

"What was that all about?" Naruto grumbled, once they were out of visual range of the commons place. Neji just gave a (dignified) grunt, sweeping his hand through his long hair, checking to make sure it wasn't messed up. Naruto rolled his eyes, looking around for any of their friends, but sadly not spotting any.

"Hey, they won't end up in ISO, right?" Naruto asked, latching on to the taller boy's sleeve. Neji attempted to smile reassuringly at the teen, but it ended up looking more like a grimace. He quickly dropped it. "No; not unless they start getting violent. And Haku-san looked more upset than violent." Neji explained.

"Is that what's going on in there?" a new voice asked, and both boys jumped from the surprise.

Glancing upwards (and inwardly cursing his vertically-challenged height), Naruto blinked at the sight of the silver-haired man's visible happy eye. He was probably smiling, too, but Naruto couldn't know for sure with the black handkerchief tied to cover his mouth.

"Kakashi-sensei." Neji greeted, eyes stormy. Kakashi started _radiating_ smug glee. It wasn't everyday someone could surprise Hyuuga Neji. Ah, to torment the youngsters...this was true happiness...

"Why does he have one of his eyes covered?" Naruto whispered to Neji. The older boy shrugged, disinterested. "The staff in this substandard facility are completely lacking in intelligence. Don't give them much notice, Naruto-kun; they are not worth your worries." he said dismissively. Neji, apparently, did not notice Naruto's 'what-the-freak?' expression. Was he supposed to _understand _Neji's Higher-Than-Thou babble or something?

"Shouldn't you two be heading towards the cafeteria?" Kakashi questioned, glancing between the two with his one blue eye. Neji sneered at him. "It's only three, you incompetent. Dinner isn't until six." the boy replied. Kakashi, in turn, ruffled the Hyuuga's hair, earning an undignified squawk as Neji hurriedly tried to fix the mess.

"Don't talk to your beloved sensei like that, Ne-ji-kun!" the silver-haired man returned, singing the boy's name playfully. Neji glared at him, his hair still out of place, before leaving with a muttered "I'll be back in just a moment, Naruto-kun." and running off.

Kyuubi stared after the departing boy with a particularly vacant look.

"You must be Naruto-kun. I heard about you from Iruka-sensei." Kakashi started, turning his attention to the small blonde. Said blonde had started to walk away, and only replied with a bored "Whatever." as he strolled down the hallway. Kakashi gave the boy's back a measuring look.

He wondered how Sasuke would handle this.

SASUNARUSASUNARUKONOHAKONOHAKONOHA

"We're in the same group, it seems, Naruto-kun." Haku said amiably, smiling at the blond across from him. Naruto blinked in surprise, pausing in the middle of stirring his porridge. Breakfast the next day had returned a much calmer Haku and Lee (or as calm as Lee ever was), and Haku had joined them at their usual table.

"Group?" the blond questioned, a blatantly confused expression on his face. Haku chuckled good-naturedly. "Aa. For group therapy; group 1-3." the slender boy explained.

"So you _are_ in category one. Figures." Kiba grouched from his place next to the blond boy, breakfast lying untouched in front of him. Next to him, Shino was nudging his own juice pack towards the rugged boy with a pointed stare. Neji, who was sitting on the other side of Naruto, looked irritated at the remembrance of group therapy--it just meant more time away from his precious Naruto-kun!

"Isn't Sai-kun in your group as well, Haku-chan?" Lee asked, causing Naruto to flinch and Haku's eyes to widen in dawning horror. Shikamaru raised his eyes upwards, as if asking the ceiling why it was always him, as Neji's face contorted in fury.

"I think Sai-kun is still in ISO." Shikamaru interjected calmly, and Haku's near-frantic expression melted away into calmness once again. Neji still looked infuriated, but that was quickly remedied as Shikamaru kicked the blond boy in the shin, causing him to jump up with a yelp, landing directly in the Hyuuga's lap. Naruto wasn't buying the ponytailed boy's innocent expression.

"But you still have to deal with Sabaku and that Uchiha bastard." Kiba pointed out with a smirk. "Gaara-kun and Sasuke-kun are actually quite pleasant company during group sessions." Haku defended. He paused, as if contemplating something. "Of course, that's because they refuse to talk..." he trailed off.

"Uchiha?" Naruto asked, turning to Neji, puzzled. He had never heard anything about an Uchiha, and it was obvious Kiba didn't like him. Usually, if Kiba didn't like someone, he made it known as he ranted on and on about how that person was just "waiting for the right moment to strike."

"You'll want to stay away from Uchiha-san, Naruto-kun. He's dangerous, no matter what Sakura-chan says." Lee advised solemnly. Naruto stared at his roommate; he didn't know it was possible for Lee to look so...serious.

"We should finish our breakfast, Naruto-kun, so we can get a head start." Haku said cheerfully. _This would be fun_.

Naruto felt a chill sweep down his spine.

KONOHAKONOHAKONOHAKONOHAKONOHAKONOHA

"You must be our newest addition!" the doctor with sunglasses greeted, a lopsided smile on his face. Naruto stared at him. _Why the hell is he wearing sunglasses indoors?_ the blond wondered, forcing out a small grin. "Hai. I'm Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto replied.

"I'm your group's doctor, Ebisu-sensei." the man, Ebisu, greeted with strained cheerfulness. "Please feel free to take a seat in one of the chairs, Naruto-kun; we'll begin when everyone's here." he said, motioning to the circle of chairs in the center of the room. Haku had already occupied one, and sat smiling at the blond as he indicated to the seat next to him. Besides the doctor and themselves, they were the only ones currently present.

Taking a seat next to the long-haired teen, Naruto stared at the door, hoping this would just hurry up and end. His nerves were on end with this new development, and he was still tired, for some unfathomable reason. He could have sworn he went to sleep last night in his bed, but when he woke up, he was _under_ his bed. Naruto really, really hated it when that happened.

"Sakura-chan! Good morning, good morning! Please take a seat." Ebisu greeted loudly from the front, and Naruto was broken out of his thoughts as the pink-haired girl walked in, taking a seat in a chair across from them. She gave both of them a bright smile.

"Ohayou, Haku-kun!" she said, before green eyes turned towards Naruto inquisitively. Her mouth opened, likely to ask a question, when Ebisu's cheerful greeting cut her off with a "Sasuke-kun! Good morning!"

Sakura's head whipped around so fast, Naruto was sure she'd get whiplash. Soon after, he also looked up towards the front to see that one-eyed, silver-haired orderly trading a few words with Ebisu-sensei, and...

...that creepy bastard!!

Naruto felt his hackles rise as black eyes glanced over the room before settling on the blond himself. A smug smirk developed on the pale boy's face, resulting in an adoring squeal from the pinkette on the other side of the circle. Naruto shivered against his will, causing the smug smirk to grow more malicious.

"_That_ is Uchiha Sasuke, Naruto-kun." Haku whispered, peaceful brown eyes never straying from staring straight ahead, completely missing the blonde's shudder. "That teme...he keeps _lookin'_ at me..." Naruto growled lowly. He stiffened when he realized the raven-haired boy was sauntering towards them, before taking a seat right next to Naruto.

_Personal bubble has been breached! Breached!_ his mind screamed, sending off warning bells, but Naruto just glared spitfire at the amusement dancing in black orbs. "What the hell are you smirking about, teme?" Naruto growled.

"...usuratonkachi."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Wh-What did you just--"

There was an obnoxiously loud greeting in the front, once again, and Naruto's attention was reluctantly drawn to where Ebisu was greeting a red-haired boy that stubbornly refused to respond. Next to him was a tall, gangly man with short spiky hair, the bottom half of his face wrapped in bandages. (Naruto was beginning to think this place was the gathering ground for people with strange fashion statements.)

"Zabuza-sensei." Haku breathed excitedly next to him, brown eyes shining with adoration. The slender teen looked ready to jump out of his seat in his excitement, his whole body was shaking.

The newly-christened "Zabuza-sensei" glanced over them, before nodding in acknowledgement to Haku. The teen's face was split with a bright smile, and was he...blushing? With his mind currently reeling in shock, Naruto didn't notice Sasuke's intense stare to his side, nor did he notice Sakura move to be seated directly next to the raven.

"Alright, Gaara-kun, why don't you take a seat so we can get started?" Ebisu prompted, and Gaara stood there stiffly in momentary rebellion, before stalking over to sit next to Haku. Ebisu took the last open seat, and their circle was complete.

"Unfortunately, Sai-kun will not be joining us today for bad behavior." Ebisu started.

"If I had known beating the shit out of someone is all it takes to get out of this damned session, I would have done it sooner." Sasuke muttered lowly.

Having not heard clearly but responding to the tone used, Ebisu leveled a chiding look in the Uchiha's direction, before turning to smile at Naruto. "Now, we have a new member today; I would like everyone to introduce themselves, starting with you, Sakura-chan." Ebisu said, motioning for the girl to begin.

Sakura stood up, smiling at Naruto while she gave a little bow. "I'm Haruno Sakura, and I aspire to be a teacher when I'm older." she said brightly. Her eye ticked ominously when she saw Naruto's gobsmacked expression. His thoughts were clear: _How can she be a teacher if she's stuck in this place?_

Ebisu nodded encouragingly, eyes moving on to Sasuke. Sasuke scowled, glaring at the man, before turning to stare at Naruto. Naruto shifted closer to Haku, who seemed to still be in some kind of Zabuza-induced high. The smirk reappeared on Sasuke's face at the blonde's actions. Naruto scowled in response, glaring defiantly at the other boy.

"Uchiha Sasuke. That's all you need to know." was the gruff introduction.

Ebisu clicked his tongue in disapproval, writing down something on his clipboard about the Uchiha's (unbeknownst to Naruto) strange behavior. "You should be more polite, Sasuke-kun. You're going to give Naruto-kun a bad impression." Ebisu advised, unsettled as the boy's smirk disappeared.

_It's too late for that_. Naruto thought irritably.

Ebisu motioned for Haku to start, breaking the teen out of his stupor. Haku blinked, before smiling. "Naruto-kun already knows who I am, Ebisu-sensei." he explained. Ebisu just shook his head. "Introduce yourself again, then, Haku-kun." he goaded. Abruptly, Haku's placating smile twisted into a malicious scowl.

"_What if I don't fucking want to_?"

Ebisu straightened in his chair, immediately looking alert. Naruto stiffened at the obvious tension in the air, and Sakura made a small whimpering sound as she shuffled a little away from the circle. Gaara made no move to acknowledge the sudden change in the air, his green eyes merely staring at Haku blankly. Next to Naruto, Sasuke smirked, obviously enjoying the show.

"Haku-kun, that's not very positive, now is it?" Ebisu's inquisitive tone held the slightest bit of warning. There was a defiant pause as Haku merely stared him down. Ebisu quickly switched tactics: "If you get thrown in ISO, Haku-kun, you'll miss your one-on-one session with Zabuza-sensei. I know he'll be disappointed you're not living up to his expectations."

Haku stiffened, mind racing behind his eyes as he thought about the scenario. The look of anger dissipated to be replaced by one of shameful worry, and the boy fidgeted in his seat as he looked at Ebisu guiltily. Ebisu relaxed at the change, writing down more notes on the development.

"I am Taniyuki Haku." he murmured. Naruto nodded, turning to look to Ebisu. The man hummed thoughtfully, eyes moving on to Gaara. "Gaara-kun, please introduce yourself." Ebisu said. Gaara just stared at him. Saintly patience was full-blast on Ebisu's face, and the entire group was plunged into silence as tensions rose again.

"I...already know about Gaara-kun..." Naruto interrupted mildly. Instantly, all eyes swiveled to the boy, and Ebisu made that ominous tongue-clicking noise as he wrote down some notes again. Naruto shifted under the attention, not quite sure how to react. "Naruto-kun, you really should have let Gaara-kun introduce himself--" Here, Sasuke snorted, but Ebisu merely ignored him and continued, "--but seeing as Gaara-kun is refusing to cooperate, you may now introduce yourself."

Naruto nodded. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I love eating ramen! Particularly miso ramen, but any others will do in a pinch! Though I do hate how it takes three minutes to cook, 'cause then I'm so hungry and--"

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. That will be enough." Ebisu cut off, still writing. Naruto scowled at the man, crossing his arms over his chest huffily. "It's because you talk too much, dobe." Sasuke said lowly. Naruto turned to glare at him, mouth opening to deliver a violent outburst, but they were once again interrupted by Ebisu's voice.

"Okay, so we'll start off the discussion as usual." he began. "Naruto-kun, usually at the beginning of meetings, we share how our time was spent since the last meeting. Feel free to talk about anything you did during the time, and share whatever your thoughts were." he explained amiably.

"That sounds lame." Naruto commented bluntly.

Haku and Sakura laughed softly, but quickly covered up their amusement when Ebisu shot the three of them a chiding look. The man's eyes landed on Haku. "Why don't you start, Haku-kun? I hear you've had an exciting time." Ebisu prompted politely. Haku frowned, shifting into a more comfortable position.

"I made a teapot set in Ceramics on Monday. The cups turned out nice, thanks to Lee-kun. He's very good at pottery." Haku said. He shifted nervously when Gaara's intense stare shifted from the ceiling to him. If he didn't know any better, he'd think the red-head was...

"Hmm. You do like ceramics, Haku-kun; I'm glad you've found an artistic vent. Anything else?" Ebisu said. Haku glanced at Naruto, looking thoughtful. "You could tell us about how it felt decking Sai." Sakura suggested, looking eerily chipper about the incident.

"That's rude, Sakura-chan." Ebisu commented idly.

"So is cutting people off when they talk." Naruto shot in grumpily. He only earned another scolding look.

"It was strangely satisfying." Haku replied. "Though Sai-kun got in a few good shots, too. I don't know if my punches hurt him at all, however, he kept smiling the entire time." he added absently. "But at least Naruto-kun got away."

There was a moment of silence as they digested this new bit of information (though Gaara's attention was once again drawn away, as the topic no longer interested him.)

"Naruto-kun, you were there?" Ebisu asked, the pen in his hand tapping his clipboard as he stared at Naruto questioningly, looking highly interested. Naruto shrugged, looking uncertain. "Uh...I think. All I remember was this really pale guy getting really..." _Touchy_. he finished in his mind. His body shuddered at the vague memory; he was almost glad his memory had lapsed that time.

"I see. Well, that explains some things." Ebisu murmured to himself, hand going a mile-a-minute as he wrote. He noted Sasuke's scowl had resurfaced with new levels of smothered anger. Sakura blinked at Naruto innocently, mildly curious. "Was Sai-kun picking on you, Naruto-kun? He wasn't talking about your..." she paused to giggle, "Anatomy, was he? Sai-kun enjoys making fun of others'...anatomy." she finished with another giggle. Sasuke twitched, glare increasing as she had talked.

Naruto blushed heavily, and Sasuke's fists clenched.

"Sakura-chan, why don't you tell us about what you did?" Ebisu suggested gently. Thus, the discussion continued, and Naruto ended up tuning out Sakura's recount as it primarily featured who did what behind who's back and their boyfriend had no idea what who was doing last Saturday.

Sasuke's recount was something along the lines of "I prayed once again that the lot of you would just drop dead, but the deities appeared to have ignored me so I'm turning atheist." Sakura had giggled like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard, eliciting Haku's own mocking chuckle at the girl's attempt at passivity.

Gaara refused to talk again, so he was skipped over with an admonishing "This is why you don't get any Good Behavior notes, Gaara-kun."

Naruto's turn came up, and the blond looked thoughtful as he reviewed his week in his mind. "I met a lot of new people...Lee-kun is my roommate, and he has the thickest eyebrows." he started, and Sakura burst out into giggles. Gaara's attention shifted to Naruto, the green glint in the eyes challenging. Naruto looked elsewhere.

"Anou...Kiba-kun is kinda fun, but he keeps losing his temper and rants on and on about conspiracies; Shino-kun doesn't talk much, but he's always hanging around Kiba-kun. Chouji-kun is really nice, but he never stands up for himself even though Neji-teme keeps picking on him. Its sooooo annoying. Especially since Neji keeps hanging around me and never goes away. Arrrgh, he's the most annoying out of all of them! Even more than Shikamaru, who just sleeps all the time or insults us!" he began to gesture wildly.

"Ah...now we can distract Ebisu-sensei from any more projects with Naruto's rambling." Haku murmured, smiling serenely. Gaara glanced at him before focusing back on Ebisu, who was listening to Naruto's experiences with rapt attention. Sasuke had stopped listening; instead letting his eyes wander all over the blonde's body without an ounce of subtlety.

"Well, I'm glad you're settling in, Naruto-kun," Ebisu once again cut in, earning the blonde's baleful glare. He was _really_ starting to dislike this guy. "Now, we have a new project--"

The sound of a chime cut him off, and Sakura squealed with undisguised glee. "Ah, looks like our time has concluded. We'll pick this up next time, ne?" Ebisu-sensei said cheerfully. "We don't have to. We can just pretend we did." Haku offered politely. Ebisu gave the boy a level stare as he stood.

Waiting at the door were three orderlies: Kakashi-sensei, Zabuza-sensei, and Iruka-sensei. Naruto hopped out of his seat at the sight of the scarred man, though he wasn't as fast as Haku, who practically vaulted to the three. The long-haired boy smiled up at Zabuza with adoration, and Zabuza muttered a gruff greeting before slinking out, Haku in tow.

"Naruto-kun, it's good to see you again. Are you doing alright?" Iruka asked politely when the blond reached him, and one tan hand sneaked out and grabbed the glowering redheaded boy before he could escape the room. Strangely enough, Gaara didn't resist, allowing himself to be pulled to Iruka's side, but refused to look at him. Naruto shrugged in response to Iruka's inquiry, shifting closer when Sasuke walked up to Kakashi.

"Sasuke-kuuun!" Kakashi greeted, sounding freakishly like an adoring fangirl. Sasuke's eyes blazed as he glared daggers at his assigned orderly, who looked unrepentant with his eyes curved. "Did you enjoy your session? Did you make any friends?" he asked, chipper. Sasuke shifted his dark look to the wall, looking bored.

"Of course not. There are only idiots in this place." he scoffed. Naruto's hackles raised, and blue eyes shot spitfire at the raven-haired teen. "You're in this place, teme, so I guess that makes you an idiot too!" he snapped. Sasuke swiveled around to face him, eyes narrowed in fury.

"What did you call me, usuratonkachi?" he growled.

Naruto glared back. "I called you an IDIOT! Sasuke-teme no BAKA!" the blond shot back.

"Naruto!" Iruka chided immediately, another hand reaching out to yank the blond back when Sasuke took a threatening step forward. Kakashi also reached out to pull his own charge back, face blank. Sasuke turned away, scowling.

"Usuratonkachi."

"Teme!"

"Dobe!"

"Okay, that's enough from the BOTH OF YOU!!" Iruka scolded, immediately receiving silence. Naruto was staring at the scarred man fearfully, while Sasuke just glowered at him. Gaara stood unnoticed next to Kakashi, having been moved out of the way of the minor argument.

"Anou...Iruka-sensei?" a small voice spoke up from the doorway. Kiba stood there, hugging his stuffed puppy to his chest as he glanced unsurely around the room. Next to him was Shino, and in front of the two was Neji.

"If Naruto-kun is finished, we'd like to bring him along to the Common area." Neji said, pale eyes looking between Naruto and Sasuke calculatively. Naruto practically threw himself at Neji, attempting to push him towards the door.

"I'm done, we're done, let's go go go!" Naruto hurried. Neji looked deliriously happy to have Naruto all over him, and he bravely took the blonde's hand as the newly-formed quartet exited.

None of them heard the furious scream and the sound of a chair being smashed to bits from the room they had just left.

ENDOFCHAPTERENDOFCHAPTERENDOFCHAPTER

Aya: Dun dun duuunnn….can anyone guess who is having the temper tantrum? Here's a hint: it isn't Gaara! (By the way, that isn't meant to be a riddle, it should be pretty obvious who it is…) Anyway, please review! Thank you!


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